I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
