Plan B is the new Plan A
Don't make out with my wife yet
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
