That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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