I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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