people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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