By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
