I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
