That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
