Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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