ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
