Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
