did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
