My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
