"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
