I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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