God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i think i have herpe
just one?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
