You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
