Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
