Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
