yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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