you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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