You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
