did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
