Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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