if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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