it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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