this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
