I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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