True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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