Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
