If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
