she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
