we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
