vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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