Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
