how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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