WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
