She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
