HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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