I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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