ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize
