the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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