Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
