She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
