Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
