East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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