I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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