Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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