eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
