Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
