Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
