I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
